Seriously considering going into law enforcement

[tmoore]

I've had the desire to go into law enforcement for some time now but recently I've been seriously considering making the leap. The only thing holding me back is not wanting to be apart from my wife and daughter for the sixteen weeks of schooling. As of right now I work a 4pm-12am shift at a homeless shelter. The hours allow me to be with my two year old daughter all day long and work in the evening. I'm twenty nine so if I'm going to do it I feel like it needs to happen soon. What are some of of the things I should take into consideration before making a decision? I feel LE would be a good fit for me as I'm level headed and good under pressure, I also feel like working in my current field will give me valuable insight regarding that demographic I will likely be interacting with on the LE side of things.
Talk me into it
Talk me out of it

 

[pointblank4445]

The 16 weeks or whatever isn't that big of a deal for most. That time actually goes by quick. It's the loss of weekends, normal sleep patterns and regular holidays that most find issues with.

I would neither encourage nor dissuade anyone into getting into police work. I would strongly caution you to fully understand the depth of what you would bet stepping into. No shit, I had to go to 8 hours of training on the new pronouns the LGBTQAIAA are using...I kid you not. That said, we always need good people in the job.

There's a thread over on LF that is a pretty good snap shot of just how shitty things can get:
https://www.lightfighter.net/topic/...sed?reply=65917602200771487#65917602200771487

The key is to pick the department that is most in line with your strengths, goals, etc. Some just look at the base pay and/or size and want to go bust heads. For example, in my immediate area there are 8 agencies in the county that all have completely different personalities. Pick the one that fits, but understand there isn't hardly any that is without its BS/politics/drama; know what you can put up with.

And at the end of the day, it's still a free country and you can resign if you find it isn't your thing. I have far more respect for the recruits/probationers that are honest with themselves rather than the one's who refuse to accept reality and waste everyone's time.

 

[Crash-7]

Go on a few ridealongs, to get a feel for what the job really feels like. You've got some good experience with one of our common demographic clients, but there are others.

You really have to need to be in this line of work, not want to but need to.

Because the novelty of being the cops will fade, it will separate you from your non-cop friends, the nights and weekends, missing holidays and birthdays, sporting events and dance recitals will wear on you and your family. You'll probably get sued, hopefully quietly. But you could end up the hot topic of the day on MSNBC too, getting your ass doxxed off. And that's all still possible if you do everything right.

Getting into the profession after you're married will strain your marriage because you will change. It's just a fact. You will miss "get togethers" and afternoon BBQs with other couple-friends and thier kids, or holiday parties with friends and family. It's going to be up to you and your wife to figure out if your relationship is strong enough to weather that, and you won't know for sure until you're ass-deep in the problem.

This job will change everything about you: your personality, your social life, your sleep schedule, your health, your emotional life, your marriage. That's not a "good" or "bad" thing. It's just a fact. Up to you on whether they're good or bad changes. (spoiler alert: it will be some of both.)

I'm painting a bleak picture here, because it can be very bleak. This job can absolutely chew dudes up and spit them out the other side: physically broken, emotionally destroyed, divorced, and bitter. It's not just a possibility, but for some, a probability.

The job can be fun, I absolutely love my current assignment because I hunt no-shit bad guys now, instead of chasing radio calls. But if I got pushed back to patrol tomorrow, I'd still be doing this job because this is where I belong and I need to be doing this. It's a profession for me, not a job. I'm on year 14 too, so I've been at this a minute. Long enough to watch guys flame out who liked "the idea of being the cops" , way more than the "actuality of being the cops" and all that comes with that.

There's a lot of risks and downsides to this profession for you and your family. Only you can know if you "have the song" inside you or not. If you do, good on you, because we need good dudes, who are in it for the right reasons.

 

[LukeNCMX]

The agency you pick matters the most. More than anything you else. Go on ride alongs with people who won't bullshit you and find out the worst things about every agency in your area and find out what you are willing to put up with. Avoid places that have chronic staffing issues, are difficult to get vacation, train only to minimum state standards, have a culture of micro-management, have a history of persecuting officers who use reasonable force.

 

[tmoore]

thanks for the replies! i dont think i have many false ideas about what it means to do police work. i understand many of the the hardships that may come along with the job. the strain on my marriage is a good point also the idea of "vetting the agency" is something i would not have thought of.

 

[Fatboy]

You will see the absolute worst in people if you take the job. You will see absolute good things too. You might learn about fear, you might learn about violence. Violence targeted against you and by you against others for no other reason than the badge on your chest.

The hours will suck. You will work a regular shift, work overtime to cover manning, then have your days off taken because of court. Rotating shifts, holidays away from family, and on and on. People will hate you because of your employer. You might hate people because of your employer.

This is the price you will pay.

If you're willing to experience this, then pursue it. You will find a family you never knew about. You will live life like most people read about. The choice is yours, you have to decide if these things would be worth it to you. And more importantly, will your family accept it?

 

[tmoore]

You will see the absolute worst in people if you take the job. You will see absolute good things too. You might learn about fear, you might learn about violence. Violence targeted against you and by you against others for no other reason than the badge on your chest.

The hours will suck. You will work a regular shift, work overtime to cover manning, then have your days off taken because of court. Rotating shifts, holidays away from family, and on and on. People will hate you because of your employer. You might hate people because of your employer.

This is the price you will pay.

If you're willing to experience this, then pursue it. You will find a family you never knew about. You will live life like most people read about. The choice is yours, you have to decide if these things would be worth it to you. And more importantly, will your family accept it?

I have the good fortune of having a great support network as far as family goes. the facility I work at is a 24 hr/ 365 day staffed facility and i am one of only two full time employees so holidays are not a given for me as it is.

 

[jBravo3]

Similar thread here:

https://primaryandsecondary.com/forum/index.php?threads/so-you-want-to-be-a-cop.2731/#post-18530

Some good info/insight - dunno if you've seen it on here yet.

 

[Vista461]

Like has been said, missing weekends, birthdays, family events are some of the hardest things. This is my 6th year of doing it, but had the same type of schedule when I used to dispatch. I’m lucky in that my wife has always been super supportive as well as my kid. They will worry about you. Make sure your family is behind you, if they’re not it’ll be even harder.

I’ve worked for 3 different departments, all part time, until I went full time where I’m at now, and got a taste of different ways things are done. I lucked out and currently work at a smaller department where I like everyone I work with.

Before being sworn, I was a reserve at a local department. We got training similar to what we had in the academy, like evoc, firearms, etc., not just doing bake sales and such. If that’s an option by you it could give you a little taste and see some of the inner workings of a department.

It’s a big decision with the climate how it is now, but I’m glad I did it and I love my job.

 

[SamR]

I was in a similar spot a while back. I posed a similar question on LF. Some of the replies may help you.

https://www.lightfighter.net/topic/evaluating-my-career-choice?page=1

 

[tmoore]

thank you for your response everybody. after reading the linked threads and your direct responses ive decided to slow down and take some time to think about the gravity of this decision especially concerning my daughter. my primary goal in life as it stands right now is to spend as much time with her as i can, she is only this small for so long and i do not know if i can live with missing out on her childhood. i live in a pretty rural area and the agencies around here are not very big at all so i dont know how that would effect the dynamic of the job. i will continue to research and inquire about ridealongs. i am really wanting to do this but do not yet know if im willing to give up on time with my family. i very much appreciate the prospective you guys have offered me.

 

[jwr_patriot]

Thanks for this post and the replies y’all have all made on here. Just took my physical and written tests today to apply to a department. Excited because I feel like this is something that I need to do vs just want, as was mentioned. There are some things that were mentioned on here I want to discuss with my wife in the coming days and weeks. Thanks for the insights.

 

[Matt117]

You should Seriously consider going into firefighting...

My LE career has been great to me but I wouldn’t want to be starting out in the current political climate. Plus they have a better chart and “everybody” loves them.


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[jwr_patriot]

You should Seriously consider going into firefighting...

My LE career has been great to me but I wouldn’t want to be starting out in the current political climate. Plus they have a better chart and “everybody” loves them.


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I think something to consider with firefighter/emt is the fact that there are usually more pre-qualifications and certifications required to even apply.
I agree about the current political climate though. Feels like even people who should be on our side sometimes aren’t.

 

[Seth Thompson]

You should Seriously consider going into firefighting...
My LE career has been great to me but I wouldn’t want to be starting out in the current political climate. Plus they have a better chart and “everybody” loves them.
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As Pat Rogers famously said, "All policing is regional". The political and cultural climate in some areas is toxic to the policing profession. In some places, you still encounter a lot of regular citizens who tolerate and even appreciate what you do. It's still possible to find places like that.

 

[Stickman]

Thanks for this post and the replies y’all have all made on here. Just took my physical and written tests today to apply to a department. Excited because I feel like this is something that I need to do vs just want, as was mentioned. There are some things that were mentioned on here I want to discuss with my wife in the coming days and weeks. Thanks for the insights.

I did over 10 years in a row not having off for Christmas, Easter, or Thanksgiving. It was simply a matter of how shift rotations worked.

How well does your wife handle stress? Like the type of stress when officers get killed in your area? Like the type when the brass has to call her because you are in the hospital (again)? How do your kids deal with it? How do your kids deal with being hated at school because you arrested someone? How do your kids deal with seeing officers killed on the news? How is your wife going to act when you break someone’s arms, jaw, legs etc? How will she act under the stress of you killing someone? How do you like the stress of your neighbor calling your department and making up things about you? How do you like the stress of people making complaints over and over against you when you were in the right, but your department tells you to stop getting so many complaints?

How well do you write reports? How do you like boredom? How do you deal with high stress like getting shot at or hearing guys screaming for help over the radio?

What are you going to do if you get injured in the academy? What about if you are injured six months into the job and your retirement is crap?

Is your wife good with you getting sued for hurting or killing someone? Is she good with BS complaints, like you getting suspended after someone you pulled over claims you groped her, or forced her to service you?

How well do you do when people attack you? How well do you do when you put someone in jail for warrants and lots of meth, and you see them when you take your family out to dinner the next night?

If you are going to have a sit down talk with your wife, she had better understand it it going to do a lot more than just have some form of impact on you. It’s easy to say, “I understand” when you are sitting on your couch, it’s different after your first really bad call.

 

[jwr_patriot]

I did over 10 years in a row not having off for Christmas, Easter, or Thanksgiving. It was simply a matter of how shift rotations worked.

How well does your wife handle stress?

If you are going to have a sit down talk with your wife, she had better understand it it going to do a lot more than just have some form of impact on you. It’s easy to say, “I understand” when you are sitting on your couch, it’s different after your first really bad call.

I think all of these are good questions. Really good ones. I will honestly probably discuss these questions you asked verbatim with her.

She’s a strong person. She can handle her own and more when she needs to. Not to say she’s invincible, but she’s honestly very strong. Emotionally she struggles sometimes, but I don’t think it’s anything we can’t handle. She’s incredibly supportive of me going into this field, even when asked this caliber of question, which I’ve done a couple times before.
As for my boy? No way to tell. He’s 2 months old so if things work out, this will likely be all he ever knows. Me and my wife are both a bit stubborn and strong-willed so I think he’ll likely be the same.
Like you said, it’s real easy for me to sit here and think that everything will work out, that everything seems like it will be at least okay, but I truthfully don’t know. And I know that I can’t know until shtf one night. Or until I at least have some experience under my belt.
I appreciate the response more than you know. Thanks.

 

[WAVandal]

This thread popped back to life as I'm sitting here nursing another on the job injury, thankfully just a pulled hamstring this time, not breaking another bone in my leg again. Stickman has some great points, as does the linked threads on Lightfighter and P&S.

You and your wife need to have a sit-down conversation about this career field. It will probably be multiple conversations. My ex is my ex because of this job, I was in FTO at my first agency, a neighboring agency had an officer killed and that messed her up quite a bit. You can't keep the job separate from life. You'll become "the cop" among your friends and family. You will lose friends because of it. I'm waiting on a lawsuit right now from a pursuit my squad was involved in that kicked off with a kidnapping and ended with a head-on crash on the freeway. This job will absolutely change you as a person.

If you're ready for that, then I wish you the best of luck. It sounds cliche as hell, but it really is that "front row seat" you hear about. I find it rewarding, fun, and even a little scary. I love my career.

 

[jwr_patriot]

We have had a few sit down conversations, including conversations before we were married. This is something that I wanted to do prior to us meeting and getting married, so it was something important to me when I was deciding if we were going to get married.
I agree, awesome linked threads and posts, they have been very helpful for me as I dig deeper into what makes the career a tough one. I have always known that it isn't the easiest career, but a lot of the things mentioned give me insight into why that is.

I think the sit down conversations in the next little while here are going to be about some very specific topics. I agree, it will likely be multiple conversations and I also think that they will continue into the first few years of the job.
I realize that I will change as well. I talked for an hour or so on the phone with a friend of mine who has been on with California Highway Patrol for 10 years and gained some more knowledge as well. He talked about how that change is different for different people. He said he felt he changed more psychologically, but has a friend who he has seen change more emotionally. Interesting things to think about.

I feel ready for all of this and honestly want to just have these conversations with my wife to help her be as prepared as she possibly can before any of this happens. Obviously neither of us will be fully prepared for the things that may happen over time, but I want us to be as ready as we can be with the time we have before the inevitable career starts.

Cliche as hell or not, but I want that "front row seat". I think the #1 theme I have seen through all of the forum posts I have read on various websites is that no one would trade their time as a cop for anything. That says a lot to me. Even the guys who had to leave that career field say the same. I find that really cool. At the end of the day, I want to protect life, liberty and serve the people around me to the fullest of my ability and honestly see this as the only way to accomplish those goals.

 

[hooahmedic]

I made the mistake years ago of deciding to work for smaller departments. Don't.
The greatest regret that I have is not going to Texas DPS and spending my time until I could test to be a Ranger.
Now, I"m too damn old, beat up, and with a healthy dose of hatred of the politics. Every agency has politics but smaller agencies are rife with it and easier to be wrapped up, run over or stabbed in the back by it.
Find a larger department, that is civil service agency and hang your hat there. There are more opportunities and if you need to you can hide from politics.